Saturday is finished...just like that.

I knew my hair is 1 foot in the coffin when I realised how badly tangled it always become whenever I shampoo. I procrastinate alot cos' I dunno what to do with it.

I have been meaning to do the treatment that Queen Irene did @ Supercuts except she doesn't know what treatment is that. Haha.

Since I am free today (like finally a Saturday to rest), I decided that I might just go do that.

I tried googling for the name of that treatment,hopefully able to check the cost of it.

To my horror, I read some horrible feedback from some random forums regarding a certain stylist @ Supercuts,Compasspoint.

Of cos' I read about one recommended one as well.

Before I head to Sengkang, I thought I might as well just check out what S'goon Central has to offer first. Unfortunately, most salons were pretty crowded. I thought if I wanna really salvage my hair, I must really bear the price of it. (Really BIG price!)

I gingerly stepped in,hoping the best for both my hair and wallet. I did not ask for any specific stylists but kept my fingers crossed that it ain't that guy who had very bad review got recommended to me.

Lucky for me~It was Kitty (Hello~Kitty) that attended to me. Kitty was the one that received good reviews. I was right about my hair but I didn't know it was that bad till she told me.

I wouldn't go on how what she does to my hair (cos' I really don't know either) but now I ended up looking like what I did to my hair in Dec 07. That (natural/soft)rebonded hair. But that wasn't rebonding she did to my hair cos' she said my hair can't afford to go through any of those again.

It does feel nice to have tamed hair but I hate the flatness of it. Wel...give it a few days, hopefully the volume would grow back. Meanwhile, I should just enjoy being 'light-headed'. I didn't know my hair was so heavy till it becomes light.

I bought the Kose black mask 2 days back. The shop was having some promo and I think I got this at half price. Woot!

Nothing special but just like to show you my black masked face. Hahaha.

Has lots more to update but I am tired. It is very likely that I would then become lazy to blog abou those too. Hahaha.

Nice weather to sleep. Shouldn't waste it.

Nights~

I heartx bears plushies~

And I resumed blogging

Tell me that you weren't gonna believe when I said this blog is going on hiatus.
Well, technically it did but business resumes WEF today. =D

Plans for a good Saturday.
Go do hair treatment @ Compass-point(Now I think this is gonna costs), roams around the area and go home for my 'Shoot Condor Hero Legend' @ 7.30pm.

Haven't been resting probably on Saturdays and I am glad that this one is gonna be nice!

Lots of photos to be shared.

Update soon.

XOXO,
Ling

So this is goodbye - Maroon 5

Silent Sanctuary would be hitting hiatus.
Blogger is killed.

Till the next post.
Thanks for visiting.

(What the fuck.)

My picture

Before SW cringed, this entry is not about MY picture literally. Lol.
Sigh.

My picture...my world. Why must you insist of coming into when I am trying to be difficult?

"What would you do about it?Why must you be so cruel?"
I don't know. I can't give a definite answer now cos' nothing is clear on the coast.

I was never really in your picture in the first place...why is there a sudden change of the wind direction? Why are you suddenly interested in mine and it seems that there is nothing I can do to stop you from barging your way through.

Should I tell you the real reason(s) or consideration of why I am not allowing you nor anyone else to come into my picture?
You think it is only fair for you to hear about it...I guess so too.

I am not trying to deny but I think I have no purpose to tell you in the past. Now you are showing me a reason that I should...If I say so, what more changes would it make to my world?

I've been dealing with so much changes in the recent months...Really,must you be another one?

Why does all these seem fated right from the start?
Right from the start I saw you, it seems that a day like today (though I never expected it) is coming its way after all.

世界是圆的 我想我们会再见面
而心情是粉碎的 也许这才是最完美的结局
今晚　让我们彼此冷静地说声　珍重再见
就像庆祝我们曾经轰轰烈烈 爱过的每一天
今晚　让我们断了可恨的争吵和不停的抱歉
留下一个吻　或许一个拥抱
让这段感情停在这最温柔的一天
我不想继续哭哭啼啼　说我多么委屈
我开始怀疑自己多少事事无能为力
我不想藉着密密麻麻　悲伤的日记
继续欺骗着　安抚着自己
我不想等到一天　感情已经被谁代替
才经由朋友口中　传来背叛的消息
我不愿这段情分　走到最后无法呼吸
连一声问候　连一点消息都觉得痛心
都感到多余
别让我恨你

别让我恨你-陈洁仪

Why must he always intro me songs that would crack my heart...
Sigh.

Teenage school girl entry

I like 胡歌. =)
I first saw his handsome profile on one of those lame chinese mixed hongkong actors kinda 古装戏 and was drawn by his boyish good looks.

I have a soft spot for guys who have good looking eyes,double eyelids and defined brows. In short, boyish good looks. -sigh-

If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be bothered to watch yet another version of 射雕英雄传 on Channel U,weekend slot now. Actually this one is still not that bad though I am a little tired of the story. Well better 射雕 than 神雕 or 绝代 or 鹿鼎! The last 3 are OVERLY remade and I am so sick!
At least 射雕 has 郭靖 and I like him.

I almost fainted when my family watched the last version of 射雕英雄传. I think it was that Faye Wong's husband(or ex-husband now) that casted as 郭靖 and I felt like killing him.
Not only the show was BAD, that 郭靖 totally destroyed my likings for the character!

My favourite 郭靖 has to be 张智霖 though.

I like 爱不死.
This song was introduced by Ming. He kept nudging me to listen to that song previously and when I finally get my ass to find it, my first impression was..."what a weird tune."
Before I listen, I kept saying what 死不爱, irritating him. =p

It was sang by 陈晓东, I like too. His looks and 胡歌's belong to the same genre. Big eyes, boyish looks. =D



And 张智霖 also that category. =)

(But not a nice pose here.)

This was last night post. I wanted to carry on with something till a phone call came in. Was exasperated,looks like there is no way I can talk my way outta that yet. Groans.

Wrong things, wrong people, wrong words, wrong feelings all at the wrong time.

A-r-g-h!

What a warm day!I thought it is usually March that's so warm?

Please forgive me for being rude. I am often trapped by frustrations cos' I do not know what you want. There is little efforts put into communication all along and don't say I am accusing about this.
I have yet to said I felt accused of something you said too. Do not flip the knife back at me.
I really do not know what to do and how to do.
Should I do it your way so you would feel better and of cos' you don't seem to be too willing to try it my way or even hear it.

Oh well...There is only that much I am willing to let myself cry like that night, been through a pain like that a certain length of period and go through the feeling of hopes revival and not meeting the light cycle a 'X' number of times.

I am sorry that I keep getting this feeling from you. I don't know why myself either.
When I don't hear from you, I can only rely on my guess and feel,right?
And when all that are being replaced by the coincidental misplace of events by Time, wrong choices of words, insecurities, would I be blamed for not being able to trust you...Trust that you are still the same, still the one for me?

When I just wanted to hear an answer from you, perhaps just a small affirmation...I may have phrased my words in an angry manner. I can't help it, can I? I was indeed angry but do you know why? Do you bother to find up?
No..It is not your responsibility anymore. That's why you don't.

Oops! Accusations, here I go again.

My apologies, monsieur.

(Wait till you really see what you have done to me.)

All my love and blessings to Zhiqin and Yvonne

So another one gets hitched in our group. =)

To the new couple, my lovable sister and her DD,

Today's Valentine's Day and now I would always remember Valentine's Day with the memories of today.

It has always been a touching moment for me to see my good friends taking their vows with their chosen partners in life.

You have all of my blessings and love.

I am so proud to be part of your happiness and I am proud of you. =)

The promise to love, to have and to hold.

Love you Von,

Ling

Pictures post

Happy Valentine's Day. With or without a Valentine, the day still goes on.
Sure,sure...The latter stinks but what to do?

Anyway today is my chopstick emo half's wedding!!! Gosh, I still can't believe that is Yvonne there,standing and taking her vows with Zhiqin.
Zhiqin was so nervous and adorable!

I absolutely adored Vonx's DIY everything. They look so nice and I have no doubt at all that the cookie would taste good.
I heartx that champagne bubble door gift!!It's so unique and really cute!

Had coffee with Reen after all the couple friends ditched us. Hahaha.
Well...technically we didn't have coffee. She had ice lemonade tea and...Oh wait, I have coffee alright,green tea soy latte. No wonder it tasted so sweet. Lattes really not my cuppa.

When it is Reen and me, we did mainly cussing the useless men in our lives.(Excluding fathers and friends.)
So much for Valentine. Boo!
But I heartx my bunny..heee. Wish I have the voice tonight. Kept coughing and laughing voiceless laughter. My throat was protesting with the exertion.

So this is supposed to be a photo post. Some photos updates to brighten the dimming and more borier blog.

On Valentine's Eve.


Got Melissa a stalk of rose. I like the tinted ends. After work, I accompanied her to get a rose for Eric (That gay friend, refer to last picture post.)I got a stalk with her and she asked whose it's for.
I handed it to her after stepping outta the shop and nothing makes me happier to see people's honest smile.
If I can do something like that which is not too dear to the pockets but sweet enough, I don't see how hard it is to do it for me all along?
It is afterall just these small little things that I asked for.
NEVER MIND! It's over,isn't it?

Nonethless I still have to thank Jason for delievering this bottle of roses to my office. Like I'd said it, I didn't know should I smile when I received it. (Ended up I was the only one that received roses in office on that day.)

At the same time, it made me confused of what he is really thinking.To me, it just contradicts everything and I was perflexed.
Should I just leave it or pursue on?

(I did the latter today only to get rejected in the end. Late? I thought nothing's too difficult if you meant to meet. Oh..I forgot. I was not in the agenda anyway.
I think I should leave it.)

It is beautiful though I pitied the bear that looks squashed.

I'm glad my parents haven't questioned me whose it's from yet....Keeping my fingers crossed. To tell the truth or not are both bad choices.

No matter how, I should say thank you and I think I had thanked more than I should. SMS,facebook and here.


On Monday's lunch

There's a new shopping mall opening across my work place.Melissa and I were tentalized by the seemly yummy korean food displays.


We went there with another new colleague during Monday's lunch.



It's a fairly small outlet and there were 2 authentic Korean staff serving. That guy is quite friendly!

Kimchi cheese baked rice


Japchai something. It's just like dong fen with rice.

Beef with rice. Seriously this is the best.

We shared the dishes and I had thought the portion looked unfilling. But hell, it is really filling! Mainly they gave alot of rice.

It wasn't anything that yummy actually but managable. Gee...I am hungry now.

$5-$6 per dish. Can try it if you are nearby.

Miscelleneous

Tracy got this Prada bag and she was so excited. Got it at this 2nd hand branded shop at Parklane but this one is brand new, a whole $1000plus cheaper. Wth?

Honestly I still don't get the novelty of branded. Sure they are nice but not that affordable.

I don't see how most people would appreciate the same design and even same quality but without the name.

-shrug-

I merely visited Wanru's pet and she asked why I am stalking hers. -________-
I think her pet must be really rich though. Hahahahha. I took that photo cos' I was surprised to see that ours look almost the same.

Ok..next post would be for my Von.

Tired but more hungry now. Maybe I should sleep the hunger away.

Roar.

Thank you for the flowers.
It was sweet and neither had I expect it. I was still in doubt when my colleagues said it was for me.
I would have smile acceptingly but I didn't know what kinda expression I should wear to fit into what should be right.

Thank you nonetheless.
Happy Valentine's Day to you too.

I am writing someting....Explains the lack of posts.
Apologies.

I really do not know what you want. Not that you are communicating across also.
I really am tired by your seemly indifference and no actions. Not to mention the badly stabbed decayed wounds you did.

No matter how you actually think you feel inside,think inside...You are just signing the message of you are now happy in a world of your own,doing things at your pace etc, to me.
You can then try to tell me that things aren't the way I see but I've got only one question to that.

Why am I seeing and still feeling it this way?
If I am not being assured of, why do you bother to explain that things aren't the way I perceived.

You are letting me really tired and I still don't know if by running me this way makes you feel justified and happy.
Even if you are not, the message you are giving is telling me so. Cos' despite that you can tell me I am not over in your life, you are only bother to explain so when I pushed you to an edge.

I don't even know why I have to do that to hear the things I wanna hear.

The worse of dealing with all these is that I have to keep my emotions under control so I would tear myself apart.

I don't wanna cry anymore.
I don't wanna push you anymore.
I don't wanna keep waiting for things that you never wanna give.

Single life? You think that if I want to open out my heart, I would have no one charging for me?
I am just holding back cos' I wanted to wait for you, wait for us.
I am just holding back cos' I don't want that poor guy to receive a broken heart.
I am just holding back cos' I don't want to hurt that poor guy if I know I am waiting here.

Looks like...you don't want me to wait either.

June 21st?
The message you are putting to me is..."let's forfeit this deal."

And now...I don't even wanna push you for your answer anymore.
You make me so tired now...

Pictures post

All the photos are found on my Facebook but just for the beneficial of maintaining this blog, I would just post some pictures.

Volunteering with Fyn & Benson

This is the volunteers' T shirt. It was great fun helping out that there and I am utterly thankful to both Fyn & Benson for this invitation.

I always wanted to try volunteering but I found no companion in the past.

Now that I have the time, I should really try to do something about it.

My favourite photo of us, by far.

Zoo Day

Unless you are interested to see the animals photos (blah!),you can visit my Facebook for it.

This however is my favourite photo!

This proposal totally took me by surprise. It was all very well planned & no one would have expected it.

The girl together with another caucasian guy were chosen to play with the seal and when it was her turn to take photo & kissed by the seal, the seal suddenly appeared 'shy' to kiss.

The emcee told the crowd that the seal knew she came with her boyfriend so the seal felt that he must asked the boyfriend's permission before he kissed her. (I fell for that...T__T)

So the boyfriend excitedly rushed up the stage and that's when he starts proposing.

It is seriously OMG! He was so nervous that he shook and voice trembled alot. Hahaha.

I can't imagine how he felt throughout the whole day when he brought her to the zoo and how he managed to sit still throughout the show.

That was so sweet and nice. Sigh~

This is the 'Kim-mo-kia' that went zoo with me. Well at least he wasn't complaining when he offered to carry my heavy bag. Infact he kinda enjoyed carrying it cos' he kinda refused returning back to me when I said I wanna carry myself.

Maybe he is turning gay afterall. (No really,he will never. -_-)

Curl hair trial - Before Dbl O

How I wish I can do this myself. I would like those curls but I like my hair straight too.

It is afterall (almost)every girls' dream to have nice curls on their heads. I was prett-ified by Melissa with her help with the curls & make up. I totally can't do anything good myself.

Well...maybe not pretty as in pretty but different for a night.

Melissa & me before make up. She invited me for dinner at the new hotel - Ibis. I dine and got make up for free~Woot!

Her friend, Eric & us in the lift. Eric is the real gay deal here. Hehehe. It is nice to have a gay friend....Kinda my wish to have one myself. Hahahaha.

Double O Hens' Night

Geeky spects are still the trend!

It's Students & Teacher night and man, was it fun to be dancing around with all the gals? Of cos' those guys are such fucking losers! I remembered there's a part whereby Wanru,Shireen,Yin,Kristin and myself were dancing in a circle. Suddenly I realised we were surrounded by guys who were dancing behind us.

Totally fucked up! Not to mention suddenly I find pairs of hands on my waist (different pairs!) and grinding me from behind. If I have a broken bottle of hand, I would slash their lower parts! And there's another pathetic guy in pink kept disturbing me while I danced. I can't be bothered to look at him and was hoping he gets the hint and leave. (which he did.)

Oh yea...Indians also! Fuck! I was dancing with Reen then 2 Indians suddenly came and "Hey girls~~." T_____T! Totally annoying!

Why are these guys so eager to find free dry humping and hopefully it leads them to free sex? I was totally disgusted to feel....*ahem...*erected penis behind me. I had to pull away that freak's hands off me twice. Fuck,fuck,fuck!

Maybe this is the club scene but don't mess with me! Assholes!

Waiting for photos from the cameras and will upload them again ^^.

Till the next time, I hope to see you good.

Pray that next week would be a good one for all of us and gasp!! Von is getting married in less than a week time!!!

Pictures brought to you by my Pixon..hehe.

So long no blog.Silent sanctuary (Not Sa-ni-tary. Lol!) has been collecting fallen leaves.
The main reason that I've not been doing anything here is I am wrapped in Eclipse & Breaking Dawn,which I bough last Saturday.
Great,with both thick fictions undone, what I am gonna go next?
Reading has now become a dear-to-my-pocket habit.

Met Jason for less than 10 minutes on Wednesday to pass Charmaine's present. They are holding the celebration today which again in a contradicting feel of relief & something not being used to when I won't be there.

That less than 10 minutes meeting was a little awkward and I just hate it when he said good bye. The lump in my throat thickens for a while before I forced every emotions to the back of mind.
Felt normal after that.

Thursday was 'Zoo Day' with Ming. I was all hesitant to visit zoo again. Surprisingly there are some spots that kinda changed but I can still make out the parts where the memories lingered.
Other than that, it felt like a normal good time spent.
Ming always has this kinda ''clouding over bad emotions'' effect on me. I cheered up after a while and was feeling very happy when there is a marriage proposal @ the Splash animal show.

I remembered that spot when Fyn,Benson,Jason and I were caught standing in the corner...breathing the sweat and rain.
Ming & I got a very good seating and the proposal was done right infront of us. Catching the lady in surprise, catching me in surprise.
I almost wanted to tear myself, feeling so excited!

Proposal....Hmmm..I've got a fairly good idea of what I want other than that engagement ring.
-secret-

Returning back to work on Friday felt like a daze, as if I am away for work for 10 days instead.

Anyway, Hens' Night is TONIGHT!!
I got a fairly good idea what to wear except I can't wear that out obviously.
Melissa just curled my hair (very nicely this time round) and I wondered should I just turn up with curl hair instead?

Hmmm..
Pictures later..

Insanity

It's 4am now. I can't sleep. It seems that no matter which way I curled up, I can't breathe and can't sleep. My tears just keep flowing, just keep on flowing. I don't know how else to make me feel better. My body is just withering in pain all over and I don't know what to do.

I don't know what is wrong. Is this retribution? Why aren't there anyone to save me? Why can't I stop crying even now? How am I gonna face the dawn in hours to come? How can I gonna fiend normalcy once day breaks? Why didn't God send his angels down to dry my tears?

I don't know why.
Why must he lied to me? Why did he reject me? Why must he tortured me like this? Why he has to treat me this way and leave me in such pain? Why didn't he fulfilled his promises to me? Why he has to leave me alone at a hour like this?

I don't know how to pretend anymore? Is it possible to go insane suddenly?
I struggled hard each day to do my day job, to eat and laugh like normal. The moment night falls and I am alone, I started crying again.
How I wish if by crying, I can push out all the sadness in my heart. But my heart...just keeps contracting in pain and I seriously, do not have the strength to even cry out loud.
It seems that the pain travels all over my body and I do not know how not to die like that.

I can't even be angry with you. If I have got any more energy, I'd exhausted it in keeping a font everyday.
I just don't get it why you have to treat me like this. 5.5 years of relatonship...Is this how you would want me to suffer for all I did?

The funny thing about this break up or cool down is I'd never ever totally blame you. From the start of it till now, no matter how bad my day can gets, I keep on reminding myself not to make things difficult for you and pushed myself alone.
No matter how much my parents question me, I kept quiet about it.
No matter how distant you have chose to become to me, I only hoped that you would soon find me.

If I did not remember wrongly, the objective of our cool down (so as you say) is not to totally isolate each other.
All these while, I was wishing so badly that you would soon find yourself to be who you were to me and me too. You would start paying more attention to me for good instead of leaving me to do every small things that's possible. I'd get tired you see, so I thought you would learn how really important this is to me.
I live on with the hope that you would start contacting me back, perhaps even miss me..telling me so and we could start step by step to make it back by June 21st.

Do you know that there are so many days that I wished to hear from you,especially on weekends. But you never call, don't really even sms. I wanted so badly to call you on so many occassions but I struggled to control this desire, thinking maybe you need more time than me.

Have you got any idea how many times I struggled to breathe beneath the waves of disappointments all these while?
But I just keep telling myself that this is what I initiated, I am in no position to ask for anything already. I only tried to be angry cos' I need the last of this energy to propel on. Oddly, it doesn't last. Very quickly, I was pulled under the waves again.

When I received your sms for a movie invitation on CNY eve, do you know how happy I was really? I had just written an angry post about you the day before yet I agreed to the movie with no hesitation.
Do you know I was so happy inside? But I don't dare to let you feel the 'weight' of the movie date so I kept my indifference throughout the trip. I don't want you to feel any sort of pressure when this could mean just a simple movie date for you.
Yet the moment you touched me, I can't help but to start crying.

Despite crying, I was so happy. I knew I still care and perhaps you are able to see me again. There are so many scenes long played in my head...wishing us back to where we started, when we really cared about each other.

When I messaged you telling you that I do still love you...Should I know better when you didn't reply me? Had I been silly to think maybe you are just tired? Or now that I realised...perhaps you didn't reply me the same cos'....you don't feel the same anymore?

I was so eager to see you again. We have never spend CNY apart since we were together. I was even on the GV website when I messaged you, asking can we watch another movie tonight, no matter what the timing is.
When you finally replied, my clouds of hope suddenly turned to rain.
You didn't said you would check perhaps. You declinded me directly telling me that you would be at your grandma's place.

I understand that, you know? I was immensely disappointed though that is not a valid reason at all. You would perhaps never reject me in the past. It is just a movie and it's not like you would eat your dinner till midnight.
But again, I reminded myself of my position right now. I was not angry. I can only take things as it is.
That was your first stab to me on CNY.

When I messaged you the next day @ Irene's house, despite my fatigue due to the lack of sleep, I still wanted to meet you.
Only so much later you replied me. Granted that you slept late the other night and just woke up perhaps 2 hours before twilight...But again you rejected me.
You didn't said that you would want to go out with me or simply tell me that you can't.
You said 'See how later.',as good as putting me in your KIV list which I knew you won't call me at the end of it either how.
That was your second stab to me on CNY.

Third day of CNY, when I realised what you did...I felt so sick. So fucking sick. My stomach twisted so horribly and I really wanted to throw everything out. But I was at work, what can I do? I have to do what I did best,isn't it? I have to control everything and pushed my focus back to my work.
That was your third stab to me on CNY.

Have you now got any idea how mentally and emotionally straining this is? When what's within you are already crumpling,you still have to behave like an automated machine outside, doing what you have to do?
Do you know how bad this is for me? Do you realised that if I keep doing this, I would live shorter than I'd meant to? Or if I couldn't take this or maintain the control anymore, I would really go insane? Do you know the degree of damage you are subjecting to me at all?
If you do, have I ever crossed your path so much that you are now enjoying doing this to me?

Like a rat caught on its tail, you immediately thrown up your defense. You immediately put on your shoutout at Facebook.
You know what is the ironic thing? The irony is I would still believe. I believe that maybe it wasn't what I think. I thought of the many possibilities but I know I won't be angry if you be honest with me. I really won't.

But instead of being honest, you even messaged me in a way wanting me to own up what I was told. That is very low of you and I was very sick of who you turned up to be.
You were wishing that if I told you something else, something that you are not fearing of, you would still have an exit...weren't you?
That was your fourth stab to me on CNY.

Finally 2 days after of not replying, you decided to own up. You said you couldn't stand seeing me hurt like this anymore and you finally admit what you did.
But instead of the truth, you spun me another story.
How dare you said that it was your secondary school friend whom you met on NYE,asking you to watch a movie with her, saying that it was HER who booked the tickets and her boyfriend can't make it?
The more saddening thing is you said that it was her who asked before me and EVEN AFTER I ASKED, you went online to check but MOST SOLD OUT FOR ALL SHOWS AS ONLY A FEW CINEMAS WERE OPENED?

Who the fuck are you kidding with?You think you are dealing with a 3 year old? Do you even remember that you didn't said you would check the ticketing when I asked you for a movie. You said NO AND YOU WONT BE FREE!

I was even more upset that you spun a tale about it was the girl whom you watched the movie with already booked the tickets!

I am not unreasonable. If you have told me directly that you already had a plan to watch movie with someone else, even if it is a girl...Even if I would be badly hurt, I would have understand and let way, knowing of my position right now.

I don't know why you wanna lie about this.
I hope you enjoyed the movie though. BRIDEWARS,isn't it? You think I am such a pathetic fool to buy your story?
You didn't think how badly hurt I would be to realise the truth and see you lying through your own teeth.

THAT was your fifth and very big stab to my heart.

After I exposed your lie, you didn't bothered anymore to catch up with me. Not even a sorry, not even anything.
Till I called you earlier at 12am sharp, even your 'hello' sounds so strange to me.
I called you not to scold you, not to vent all my whatever anger at you AS YOU CAN ONLY SAY THAT TO ME!
I called you cos' I thought if I hear anything at all...hear you telling me that you are sorry or no....just that you miss me, I would be happy.
But you didn't say anything after the long silence..you just said ''You can vent your anger on me."
That was what you think my purpose of calling is.

That was your sixth stab to me on CNY.

2 messages coming from you after I on my mobile again at 2.30am. I barely slept till I realised I can't sleep at all.
You think by claiming the title of 'bloody jerk' would justify the whole situation, that I would pull myself up and walked away.
Is that what you can do to make you feel better only?

Your seventh stab.

I didn't and won't count the stabs done before but crossing over the new year...this is what you did to me.
Are you happy?
Are you happy?

Tell you something, I am not. I will not be for a long period of time that I can't even tell when.
Trampling my world like this...Are you satisfied?
Is this YOUR objective of our cool down? Why didn't you tell me from the start?

How will I learn to trust anyone again...Would I even dare to trust you again?

If this makes you happy, satisfied you....I am happy to finally make you happy again.

Once I thought I was damaged, till you came over. You promised to build me a world to protect me, to heal me back to happiness. So I admit it was my fault for failing to treasure this world.
But before I even leave, you already turned that world into hell for me.

........Why................